I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
