Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
