Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
