do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
