Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
