Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
