R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I pour the whiskey from now on
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
