So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
