I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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