Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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