WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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