and next time when you feel me up, do it right
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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