Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
