my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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