dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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