no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
