opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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