ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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