Sry I called you an 8
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
