Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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