My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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