he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
