we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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