I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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