All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
