I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
