are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
