why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
