I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
