sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
