Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
