Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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