Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
