I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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