Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
