After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
