my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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