Sry I called you an 8
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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