What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My penis needs a shock collar
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
