so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
