I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
