I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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