I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
