It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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