I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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