Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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