....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
