look no pants
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
