umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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