So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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