I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
